DNR

You ever think
“shit man
this is really how it all ends”?
I come ’round
stave off death robotically
take lunch
hold your hand silently
and watch
you looking through me
connections made
solely by our humanity
contemplate the irony
that you’ve got some will inside you
while I sit here
nightly beside you
dead as the flesh
sloughing off your body
but still
young enough to function
in half form
impressively
listening to you rattle air
unable to speak
grasping for something
warm and relieving
and only finding
only finding
me…
So I give you my hand
hypocritically
fighting the end for you
externally
all the while
selfishly longing for my own
and I wonder
wonder
why fate said
this is how we should meet
you, abandoned
and dying
as a clown like me
subs in for your family
comforting you
at the same time
depriving you
of that sweet, deep
eternal comforting
and thinking
shit man
shit
this is really how it all ends.

I wish I knew how to save you
from the experience.

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